I think we can all agree that one of the best parts of everything CES is seeing all the weird, wacky, and borderline crazy products that surface at the show. You know what I’m talking about: it’s the suitcases with ears, the cuddly robots and all the other stuff that makes you scratch your head and wonder how someone got the motivation and determination to follow through on an idea. also strange. So, in the spirit of celebrating all the wonderfully weird things that are coming to the Consumer Electronic Show against all odds, we’ve put together a modest collection of the strangest tech we’ve spotted this year.
For more interesting products, be sure to check out our Top Tech of CES 2022 award winners!
I’m pretty sure there are a grand total of six people on Earth who want a circular smartphone in 2022, and luckily a company called Dtoor answered their prayers this year at CES. I love this thing because it is a glorious affirmation of the consumerist dream: No matter how impractical or niche your desires may be, you can rest assured that someone, somewhere, has developed a product that you will love. scratch the itch exactly. What a time to live.
Samsung’s NFT compatible TV
I’ll take “shameless trend hunting” for 200, Alex! Also, why didn’t they call it NFTV? Huge missed opportunity there. If you want to jump head first into the NFT times and build the handy fruit of trendy tech, then at least give it the effortless pun name it deserves. It’s not rocket science, guys.
Airvida air-purifying headphones
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of anything that offers 2 in 1 functionality, but it’s just weird. Even in a world where airborne viruses and year-round wildfires have made everyone painfully aware of the quality of the air, it still feels like a weird mashup. It’s like a snorkel with a built-in duck call; just because you can do that doesn’t mean you should.
Victrola’s latest portable record player
Seriously?! Who in their right could in fact, without irony, take a complete record player and an assortment of records with them for listening on the go? This is absolute madness. And before I tell you that “it’s more about nostalgia than convenience” on me, I would also like to point out that by using this device as intended and connecting it to a bluetooth speaker, you negate the benefits completely. of the analog audio source you are carrying.
If you’re reading this Victrola I just want to say that as a proud member of the millennial hipster community and a statistically perfect example of your target demographic, I regret to let you know that we are all too busy bidding on the third. generation of touch wheel iPods on Ebay to give this thing more than just a glance.
Sengled Heart Rate Monitor Bulb
So I fully understand that this thing has legitimate use cases and could potentially be useful in certain settings, like hospitals or nursing homes, but it’s also extremely scary. The fact that an unassuming little light bulb can monitor my heart rate remotely, without my permission, makes me feel like the world is slowly becoming a boring cyberpunk dystopia, and we’ll soon find ourselves trapped in some neo-Orwellian Hellscape surveillance. of our own design.
Homeplenish Smart TP Holder
As DT’s Shubham Agarwal so aptly put it, “smart home gadgets tend to be confined to the territory of solutions to non-existent problems,” and this contraption is certainly one of them. It tracks your TP usage to predict when you’ll run out, then orders more so your replacement rollers arrive right on time and you never run out of TP. The idea is that this will eliminate the need to accumulate toilet paper, but at what cost? See the comment above on being trapped in a hellish neo-Orwellian surveillance landscape.
Ham Amagami Ham
Amagami Ham Ham is the best kind of weirdo. It doesn’t help at all in practice – and that’s the great thing about it. There are no half-made promises that this thing will improve your life or provide some sort of questionable mental health benefit. The creators offer no justification for its existence. It’s just a cute little thing nibbling on your finger, and that’s all it takes.
Now shut up and buy a finger-sucking plush robot. You know you want it.